Beloved brothers and sisters in Christ,
This week I would like to reflect upon the wedding and the lifelong sacrament of Holy Matrimony that God intends to be a source of life and blessing for the family. When you are preparing your wedding, you must keep in focus that a wedding lasts one day, but the Sacrament of Matrimony is intended by God from the beginning to last for a lifetime. It is in the celebration of the sacrament that the bride and groom mutually exchange consent to a lifelong union of love before God and the community. This is a holy covenant in which a sacrifice is made before God, which has the result of creating the man and woman as one flesh within a total mutual sharing of their goods and family relationships. Two families become one through the consent of two members.
The lives of the man and woman can be divided into before and after matrimony; the moment they cease to be single human persons and become a communion of three persons: husband, wife, and God. This is God’s plans for man and woman from the beginning of creation. God created man and woman to be joined in one flesh in a communion of love that is an icon of the communion of love that is the essence of the Holy Trinity, a communion of eternal love.
The giving one’s yes to the vocation of marriage is one of the most important steps in human life and love. The state of Holy Matrimony has significant meaning and impact upon the couple, both families, the parish, and the whole of society. Therefore, it will greatly assist couples planning to marry to look at this from the perspective of entering into a holy and permanent covenant rather than as a celebration of “Bride Magazine”.
The secular focus today seems to support dedication of massive amounts of time, effort and stress in seeking: the most beautiful church, the most beautiful dress, the most elegant hall, the most colorful flowers, the finest dinner, the best photographer, and so many THINGS to make this the best wedding.
The fullness of blessings flows from grace and the beauty of mutual self-donation, and not stuff. It is rare for a priest to meet a couple who think of what matters most: time invested in marriage preparation; talking deeply about how you will live your family and spiritual life together; which values will order your life together; how you will practice and grow in your faith; and how you will make God the foundation of your family life.
Sadly, many spend hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars planning the wedding and then they get mad at the priest or wedding coordinator that asks them to attend a weekend Marriage Preparation retreat. We can show that couples who live chastely before marriage and participate in marriage preparation drastically reduce their chance of divorce or separation and enjoy happier and more stable marriages.
It is amazing how many couples come together simply through passion and romance, to fill a void of loneliness, or to find a partner to serve their needs. The majority do not have a clear idea of what a marriage covenant truly is. Most don’t understand that mature conjugal love involves: the free, faithful and fruitful total donation of self for the good of the other and the good of the children. Like the sacrifice of the Mass, matrimony is sacrificial love manifested between a man and woman out of submission to the divine moral law, which is intended to be a blessing for the couple and for the community. A covenant is a spiritual work of the Holy Spirit and not subject to civil law.
Your servant in Christ, Father Paul